Never Mess With a Jeria Fan
by elliexhardy
Summary: One Shot for all Jeria fans! Co-written with Christal-R. Two Jeria fans are out to find the missing Jeria segment from this past Friday Night's Smackdown, but will they succeed? Cameo ft. Jeff & Maria


**A/N: Ok so Christal-R and myself were talking on MSN Messenger this past Friday night and we were like mad because the WWE cut out the backstage segment of Jeff & Maria. So after Smackdown finished she was like what are you doing. I was like oh I'm reading a story to my nephew...and I joked around and was like it's called The Day I Killed the Creative Team for not Giving Us Our Jeria segment...lol. So she wanted to hear it and I just made this from the top of my head...lol...enjoy!**

**-**

_**NEVER MESS WITH A JERIA FAN**_

_**ONE-SHOT**_

_**WRITTEN BY: .CMPunkluver & Christal-R**_

**-**

Once upon a time there were two girls named Christal and Ellie and they were on a quest to head to the WWE Headquarters. They were dressed in black jeans, a black top, a black hat and to match they even wore black sunglasses. They went all out and even included walkie talkies and laser pens, even a pair of handcuffs in case they met Randy Orton or John Cena. The handcuffs...well let's just say they were for their own personal fun with Randy and John.

Christal started to talk to the receptionist and get information while Ellie started crawling along the walls and crept her way upstairs. Yeah, they were seriously acting like spies on a mission. As Ellie made her way upstairs, she knew she was in trouble...because down the hall was...Jeff Hardy. Her most favorite WWE Superstar or all time...and who she says will be the father of her children. Yeah, obsessed much?

Ellie took out her walkie talkie and called Christal.

_"Christal, this is naughtyHardy...we've got a situation."_

_"What's the problem naughtyHardy?"_

_"Seems that a rainbow headed man is down the hall and is blocking my way."_

_"Damn. Do I really have to help I mean...I'm kind of flirting here with Randy."_

_"Are you kidding me?"_

_"No."_

_"God I hate you. But seriously, what do I do."_

_"I'll handle it. Don't worry."_

_"OK."_

Ellie put her walkie talkie back in her pocket and waited for one of Christal's plans to come into play. Suddenly, she realized Christal's plan was put in order as a fire alarm went on and water started coming out of the sprinklers from the ceiling.

Ellie, who was frustrated at this point angrily took out her walkie talkie and paged Christal back.

_"That wasn't exactly what I had in mind Christal."_

_"My bad?"_

_"Damn right."_

Finally, when everyone was outside Ellie made her way to the creative room and went on the search for the infamous and unseen Jeria segment.....that featured Ricky Ortiz...but no one really cares...about Ricky. **(sorry Ricky fans...if any)**

_"Aha! Success. I have found you my baby...you don't know how bad I've wanted to see you."_ exclaimed Ellie as she hugged the tape close to her chest with a smile on her face.

Just as she started making her way out to the door a female figure made their way into the office and Ellie was a bit freaked.

_"Maria?! What are you doing here?"_

_"Well I came to get something that I need."_

_"Like what?"_

_"My segment from this week. I want to see myself talking to that sexy beast."_ she said with a dreamy smile

Ellie laughed then thought about it. Chris Jericho? But she didn't have a segment with Chris. She had one with Jeff. Oh. So it seems like Maria has a crush on Jeff, but she will not get the segment. Again, she will _**NOT**_ get the segment, no matter if she's Ellie's favorite diva.

_"Hmmm...well I don't know Maria. I mean I kind of want it too."_

_"No, but I need it more."_

Ellie let out a sarcastic smile. _"That wouldn't be fair now would it?"_

_"Why not?"_ asked Maria

_"Because, you already recorded it with Jeff and you know what happened in it. I, on the other had, don't."_

Maria contemplated for a second, then figured yeah, Ellie was right. She** always **is.

_"Ok fine. You can have it..I'm sure I can get from somewhere." she replied._

_"Or I could just make you a copy."_

_"Yeah do that."_

So Ellie made a copy and gave it to Maria. It took about 20 minutes and finally when Maria left the room and Ellie was finally about to leave a man walked in. He was the head of the creative team.

_"Shane?!"_

_"Yes, what are you doing in my office?"_

_"Why is THIS your office? I thought Stephanie was in charge of the Creative Team?"_

_"She was. But she's sick so until she gets back, I'm in charge. So why are you here?"_ he asked

To say Ellie was scared was an underestimate. She was scared shitless.

_"Well...well...why are you such a jerk?"_

Phew, that was an easy one. Ellie thought in her head.

_"Excuse me?"_ Shane asked.

_"Yeah, I mean. I KNOW that there was a Jeff/Maria, or as I call them and everyone else calls them, Jeria, segment and you totally ripped us off and we want that segment and we want it now!" _Ellie exclaimed as she stomped her foot.

_"Well we figured it wasn't important."_

Ellie was angry at this point.

_"**NOT IMPORTANT?!?!** We haven't had a Jeria segment since 2007 and they are both the cutest people in the world to be put together. Do you know how high the ratings would be? Just think Shane...Jeff & Maria, the top couple on Smackdown. Hell the top couple of the WWE. Don't you smell the money? For someone whose song says "Here comes the money" you obviously do not know where it comes from."_ she said as she pulled Shane up by his shirt and held him in a tight grip

_"Don't you want the WWE Universe and everyone else in the Fan Nation to be happy?!"_

_"Ummmm....yeah."_ said Shane, who was scared for his life

_"Then do us the favor and give us the segment."_

_"Ok fine. I'll make sure it's added on "_

_"Good boy. See was that so hard?"_ she asked as she began walking out the door

_"Crazy Bitch."_ Shane mumbled to himself. But stupid, stupid Shane. Ellie heard.

_"Oh Hell No!"_ Ellie exclaimed as she ran back into the room and closed the door behind her.

-

The Next Day....

Ellie and Christal were in the hotel room that they rented out for two days...they might as well enjoy it. So sipping on Pepsi's with Ellie wearing a Jeff shirt and Christal wearing a Randy shirt, they were currently watching the segment on the DVD player, which was playing on a big screen tv.

_"Oh god. I can watch this all day."_ said Christal as she saw Maria ditch Ricky and start running towards Jeff.

_"Tell me about it. My baby looks hot in here...with his black tank top and his hair all wet. The sweat cascading down his body and that ass! Oh my, that ass is so firm and..."_

_"Ok I get it."_ said Christal as she bit into her pizza.

_"What? I'm just saying."_ Ellie replied with a laugh.

_"And now I see that you're a Hurricane Helms fan too?"_ Christal replied

_"I am, but I still want my Jeffy."_ she said with a smile

_"So now that we have the segment that no one else has, I have a question Christal." _Ellie stated

_"What is it?"_

_"Where the hell were you during all that time?!" _Ellie asked

Christal blushed.

_"Well I told Randy that I was "scared" and we hid in the closet."_ she said

_"Do I even want to know?"_

_"Let's just say...it was more than seven minutes in heaven."_ Christal replied as she plopped her feet down onto the coffee table.

_"Ew...well not really Ew...just the images in my head are nasty." _she said with a laugh as Christal joined in.

After it quieted down and they started the segment again, Christal spoke this time.

_"El?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"What exactly did you do to Shane?"_

Ellie smirked and turned towards Christal

_"Let's just say that he's hanging around and that Santina will have a new friend to hang out with."_

Christal was confused but once Ellie told her...she laughed.

_"That is wrong…but so clever."_

_"I know."_ she said as both girls began to laugh.

-

_"Hello? Can anyone help me? Ow, this hurts."_ a man said

Shane McMahon was currently hanging from his underwear

From the titantron set.

With the biggest wedgie in the world...and wearing a skirt, a bra and make-up...and to top it all off...a blonde wig.

_"What the hell is that noise? " It was his father. "Shane? Is that you? What the hell? Shane are you making a joke out of me? I should kick your ass. I can't believe my own son is trying to be like Santino now. What to do? You know what? I should tell your sister to put you in a storyline."_

_"It's brilliant. We'll name you, Shaneia. I can see it now Shaneia, the new Diva's Champion. And you could manage Santina and be her best friend. Princess!? Where are you? I've got a new idea!" _Vince said as he walked off the ramp and went back to the backstage area.

Shane groaned. He should have just left the Jeria segment on Smackdown.

What an idiot Shaneia can be.

**END.**

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**A/N: Don't you just love the randomness. Christal...I finished it!...lol. So review and let me know what you all think :o)**


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